Age 25

Ben and I were married September 19, 1998.  I had just turned 23 and Ben was getting ready to turn 23.  When I was 25 years old God placed a burden in my heart for adopting from China.  I started researching online to learn more about it.  I learned that China required both of us to be at least 30 years old.  So, adopting from China quickly was put on the back burner.  God gave us 3 biological children very quickly, Charlotte was born 10-13-01, Kaleb was born 9-9-03, and Annabelle was born 10-6-04. 

Today, January 26, 2014 I reflect back as we have started the adoption process and I see that when I was 25 and looking online about adoption there was a baby being conceived in China.  That baby would be the Chinese boy we are trying to adopt.  His name is An Xin Cheng "Sonny", born on March 18, 2001.  It's as if God saw me sitting there on the computer and said, "I have someone for you but the timing isn't right yet.  Be patient."

God would then prepare us through many ways.  Before we married Ben had went on a few short term mission trips.  In high school Ben went to Shepherds Home (mentally disabled home) in Minnesota for a couple weeks.  In College he spent a summer in Jamaica helping at a deaf camp.  The summer before we met he went to Beijing for the summer to teach English.  At this time he was given his Chinese name of LiMingSheng.  Ben was feeling God's leading towards ministry and missions.  After graduating from Cedarville University he went to seminary at Baptist Bible College in Clark Summit, PA. 

I was a senior at Morehead State University in Kentucky and Ben was in his first year of seminary in Pennsyvania.  We both were at home for Thanksgiving break.  At this time I opened the Bible and read the passage about not being unequally yoked with your spouse.  I told God I was ok to be single if that is what He wanted me to and that I would stop worrying about finding a mate.  Around this time Ben was telling God he was ok with being single too if it was His will.

One month later on Sunday, Dec 28, 1997 Moni Anders asked me to go bowling with a group from church.  I didn't really want to go but I went.  We were a little late arriving to Capri Bowling Alley off 161.  As we were walking in Moni said to me, "there's a guy here named Ben and he's really nice."  I said, "I don't care!" 

We walked in and saw our names already on the bowling sign.  Ben had started bowling for me.  He walked up to me, held his hand out to shake mine, and said, "Hi, I'm Ben Miller!"  I thought he was really cute and nice to talk to.  We talked a lot at the bowling alley.  As we were walking out to leave he asked me if he could go roller skating with me some time because I had shared with him earlier that my sister, Jill, and I liked to skate on Tuesdays.  We exchanged phone numbers. 

Moni then asked if we wanted to come back to her apartment to hang out.  Moni, Ben, and I sat in the apartment talking.  Ben intimidated me with his conversation about Bible theology.  I remember smelling my feet for some reason and saying they smelled like cookie dough.  Ben loved me from that moment on.  Ha ha! 

It was getting late and both Moni and I were headed toward our parents house.  Ben needed a ride home.  I didn't want to come across as really wanting to take him home so I played it cool.  Moni said I could take him or she would.  It was decided I would take him home and I was THRILLED.  We got in my old blue Jetta that had duck tape on the vents to keep the cold air out.  I dropped him off and I was smitten!  Separately and without the other one knowing Ben and I both started praying and asking God, "is this the person you want me to marry?"

Two days later I called his house, asked if he wanted to go skating, and we went skating!  After skating we had arranged to hang out that Friday.  I was house sitting Debbie & Virgil Runyons house so I said he could come over there and watch a movie with me and my sister, Jill. 

It was now Friday night and the three of us watched a movie.  Jill left to go home.  The Runyons had several cats of which Ben was allergic to.  I had no idea of his allergy until he told me his throat was closing up and he was struggling to breathe.  We were at the door saying good bye to each other and Ben leaned in to kiss me.  I was nervous and dipped my head down.  Ben's lips landed on my forehead.  : )

Two days later Ben asked me out on a date, our first official date.  He picked me up, we ate at On the Border near Route 23, and saw a movie.  During the movie I was nervous he would want to hold my sweaty hand.  He reached for my hand.  It was wet.  I was embarrassed.  He didn't let go.  I knew He must like me if my sweaty hand didn't gross him out. 

Now in the driveway of my parents house dropping me off  He gave me a hug as we leaned against his little red car.  He said, "I'm thinking of kissing you."  And he did. 

Ben was now heading to Cedarville University for a conference and said he would call me.  I did sit at home by the phone waiting.  He didn't call.  Moni asked me to go to the hospital to see her friend Lori.  I remember thinking, "what if he calls?"  I got home and there were no messages for me.  : ( 

A day or two later Ben did call.  He said he wasn't sure about long distance relationships.  I was confused.  Were we in a relationship?  Ben then said he thought we were dating.  We both decided to date long distance as he went back to seminary in Pennsylvania and I went back to college in Kentucky.  Before we left each other Ben told me he loved me.  I loved him too! 

We got to know each other through writing letters in the mail to each other and through calling on the phone.  The next time I saw Ben it was sometime before spring break.  He came down to Kentucky to visit me.  We went on a picnic and Ben said he was thinking of buying me a ring for my birthday. 

Both of our spring breaks were back to back.  So during my spring break I went to PA to his seminary and stayed in the duplex next door to Ben's with a very strange married couple.  We then drove to Ohio together for the weekend.  Walking through Northland Mall Ben wanted to go in and look at the rings at JB Robinson jeweler.  He asked what I liked.  I picked out two of my favorites.  He then told me to go sit in the mall and wait on him.  After calling his mom to get a loan from her he bought my engagement ring and wedding ring.  I remember sitting there for a while.  When I saw Ben coming out of the jeweler his face looked scared.  : ) 

Ben did not ask the question or give me the rings.  That would come later.  After this weekend we headed to Kentucky together.  It was now Ben's spring break and I had classes.  We seriously considered eloping but decided not to. 

Now it was Easter.  We both were in Ohio for the holiday and were sitting outside at my parents house.  My mom asked when we were going to get married.  We kind of said soon so my mom started planning for that fall.

It was my last week at Morehead State.  Ben came down and spent the last week with me.  At the end of the week I graduated on May 16, 1998.  My parents were there, my grandma Mimi, Ben, my sisters Shelly & Jill and Shelly's husband Scott.  I was also surprised that Ben's parents drove down too for my graduation.  This is when our parents met each other for the first time. 

After graduation I packed up my stuff and moved back to Ohio.  We all headed back to Ohio together.  That night at my parents house in Ohio unpacking Ben said, "do you want to take a shower?"  I didn't know why he wanted me to but I did take a shower.  Then Ben said he had to go do something and left.  My grandma, Mimi, gave me a card from Ben.  The card said to get my parents and the video camera and to start following the clue he had written in the card. 

The clues led me to places we had been together.  Capri Bowling Alley, Moni's apartment, Movie theater, Runyons house, Alum Creek, and Anders House.  The final stop was my parents house where Ben was in a suit and tie.  His parents and my family were there.  Ben sang Peter Cetera' song Glory of Love from Karate Kid.  He read a poem he had written for me and then knelt down on one knee to propose.  I said, "did you ask my dad?"  And then I said, "yes!"  We were married 4 months later.  When we had married in September we had only known each other 9 months.